My Munchkin Village (29th Post)
The Munchkins at OZ, (See the previous post), turned out to be my true north compass. Now I had the necessary assistance to help me manage my life needs. Similar to the Village I created at Wonderland, the Munchkin Village supplemented my undiagnosed deficits.
At that point in my life, my parents had exhibited little interest in my developmental stage of “teenhood.” My parents addressed any mishaps or missteps I got myself into, however, outside of their basic parental responsibilities, I was pretty much on my own. This situation was not a good one as my unbridled symptoms could result in trouble. Or, as the saying goes “In my defense, I was left unsupervised.” (Author unknown). Thus, my Munchkin Village evolved into a very important addition to my desperation skills toolbox.
I was delighted to discover that Munchkins, inside and outside of OZ, operated from a base camp called a “Group.” Their congregations were most helpful, as, whenever I made a new Munchkin friend or reunited with a friend from my days in grade school, I would soon thereafter meet their personal tribe. And bonus - my junior year class was composed of 800 Munchkins, which I found to be an enjoyable and sizable resource. Consequently, I successfully filled my To-Go-To- List with teenage aficionados. Thus, the Munchkin Village also addressed my teenage developmental gaps that had been impacted not only by brain damage but also by my undiagnosed Post Traumatic Syndrome. I knew I was stumbling around in life, however, my Munchkin Village never let me falter.
I utilized my To-Go-To List almost on a daily basis. Here are some examples: I greatly disliked shopping malls and shopping in general. Shopping seriously challenged my TBI, stretched axioms, and executive functions- planning, organizing, and decision-making. I also had an aggravating inability to not be able to discern the correct size of clothing. At a Mall, I easily spent 5-6 tortuous hours shopping and ended up literally fleeing the mall feeling frustrated, disappointed, close to tears, exhausted, and often, totally empty-handed. My auditory hypersensitivity in no way near enhanced the shopping experience. I found the noises of humanity while on the hunt and the bright lights of the mall aggravated and shut down my brain. My spatial disability resulted in getting lost, directionally confused, and unable to backtrack. I remember one trip - a friend dropped me off at the mall and said I will pick you up here. Long story short, I ended up at the wrong exit - walked outside the mall into the parking lot and desperately looked in both directions. To my utter relief, there she was standing at a distance, waving and shouting my name. Bless her wonderful heart. After I ran up to her, she said “I realized after I drove away you were by yourself and would get confused and would not know what exit to go to. Next time we need to plan this better.” I was so grateful for her. Like me, she did not know what was wrong with me, but she just accepted my quirks and helped me.
Needless to say - however I will - by myself I found little to enjoy about the experience benignly called “shopping.” Thanks to my Munchkin Village, I always went with or would bring Munchkins to support me in rising to the challenge of shopping. To my utter astonishment, instant success was the result. I would stand there…and stand there…and stand there in the store pondering the array of options. Suddenly, in the midst of my contemplation woes, a Munchkin would make the decision for me in record time. This always left me feeling impressed and wondering how did they do that? They even mysteriously, (to me), picked my correct clothing size. And when, on my own, when I decided on a purchase, they were quick to give me a thumbs up and smile, or a thumbs down and frown, which I also deeply appreciated. I am rarely upset when people are honest with me, as I know my judgment is off sometimes.
Would these wonders ever cease? Apparently not. For, I observed they always knew the right direction to go, rarely got lost or confused, and could easily perform the daunting feat of backtracking. And best of all when we decided to head home from the mall, I left without feeling frustrated, disappointed, close to tears, or fighting the impulse to flee. I realized today, that my Munchkin Village made for a fantastic frontal lobe. Their support and care helped prevent my usual meltdowns, as well as my fear and loathing of malls. Due to the TBI neuro- fatigue, I did leave the mall exhausted and over-stimulated, however, I easily accepted that result as the joy of feeling supported, and the relief of not having had a meltdown. Plus, not leaving the mall empty-handed and feeling defeated is more than compensated.
In other situations, circumstances, etc. which required executive brain functions, Eventually, I observed the Munchkins - unlike me - were maturing. They often provided more sophisticated solutions to replace my child-like solutions when I encountered a problem to solve. Whew - I was always so relieved with their suggestions as I could tell right away their solutions were superior to mine. So, It never got old for me to see what the Munchkin Villagers came up with next in assisting me with problem-solving. Each time I felt like I just opened an unexpected yet deeply needed Christmas gift.
At Oz, and even today, the Munchkins/and other people, asked me if I was an introvert or an extrovert. Prior to the TBI diagnosis the only answer I could give to explain those aspects of my personality was to say,” I am a strange combination of both.” Now I know better and say - “I have brain damage which results in being very social and also desperately needing alone time due to neuro-fatigue and overstimulation.
One day, the Munchkins discussed a quirk they noticed in my personality. They said I was always the first one to say to any suggested activity “I am in.” However, when asked what I wanted to do, they shared, I would always say “this is fine just hanging out.” Today, I know why I rarely came up with activities. I have TBI delayed initiative and literally need a jump start from another person. Also going anywhere involving planning, organizing, and making decisions, I am challenged in those areas. When left on my own I usually am so exhausted from having made a plan, I don’t feel like going or just
don’t go. The Munchkins also related they were ok with me not planning as they always enjoyed having me there. To this day, I am eternally grateful for how the Villagers organized my social life. As a result, I had so many fantastic experiences and opportunities.
In closing this post, we go back to the mall. After our shopping adventures, we Munchkins always hang out at a record shop. Given I was now not depleted from the shopping, I was able to join them. I found the music and atmosphere soothing and fun. Music was and is now a BIG part of my life. And today, we know how important Music Therapy is for the brain. So, without realizing it, at the time the music was helping me and my brain. It was the 60s and every week new musicians were making impressive debuts. And the reigning rock stars continued to create new albums. So, after the mall and other times, I spent hours at the record store. I found it to be such an amazing sanctuary.
This ends the snapshot of my life with the Munchkins. Up next will be about some of the other treasures I discovered at OZ which assisted my goal to solve the puzzle of me. I have deep gratitude for all the past and present “Villagers” in my life. My wish for you dear reader is “May you never be on your own.” May you be in the gentle nest of belonging to your friends.” (John O’ Donohue.). How else can one learn to fly?