The Moral Of Being THAT Squirrel (34th Post)
Anyone who has driven on a street in a residential area has witnessed the fate of many a squirrel who when faced with an oncoming vehicle, could decide to run, not run, or wobble in which direction to run. Any indecision by these squirrels results in what is referred to as roadkill. Or, as John Lee Dumas said “The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who could not make a decision.” Paul Colaianni added, “the moment of decision is key to movement.” And I, Alesia Willow Montana add….. a decision not to act is also a decision.In high school, unbeknownst to me, I was in the early stages of stimulant addiction. One day at school, in an unforeseen circumstance, I made a decision concerning an unknown addiction. That decision forever changed the rest of my life.
There are many myths and fallible information concerning the nature of addiction. So, in order for you Dear Reader, and I to be on the same page, I will delineate 2 myths so you will better understand the decision I made that fateful day in high school.
Please keep in mind alcohol IS a drug. Thus, an alcoholic is an addict. An addiction has 4 stages of development: early, middle, late, and fatal. There is NOT a hitting bottom stage - it is a myth as there is always another bottom to experience in an addict's life. This is also true for anyone’s life in general. And, it is totally untrue that an addict has to hit bottom in order to recover. Many addicts successfully recover from addiction in the early and middle stages. The numbers are less for late-stage addicts, as their lifestyle is deeply embedded in the world of addiction. To recover, an addict does not “have to” hit some mythical bottom. To recover, an addict has to make a decision to stop using mood-altering drugs and act on them.
The other myth is Sobriety means an addict no longer uses a mood-altering substance(s). The word abstinence - not sobriety - means there is no use of mood-altering drugs. And please keep in mind, an addict can abstain for hours, days, months, decades, and for vampires - centuries. Just kidding about the vampires, as rumor has it they are immune to the effect of alcohol and other drugs. And some addicts abstain for their entire life, yet never seek out sobriety. Sobriety means an addict has recovered and does not use mood-altering drugs. And being recovered, the addicts no longer have a physical or psychological attachment to the addiction. They no longer use mood-altering drugs as an option to cope with unwanted moods/feelings. They do not miss, desire, want, or think about using mood-altering substances. There is no internal war to use or not use. And seeing other people who choose to use mood-altering drugs, does not create envy or influence them to use. If you are not sure as to what I am saying, think of a food you do not like to eat. You are not preoccupied with eating said food. Nor, do you envy people who eat it. And seeing other people eating that food cannot induce you to eat it. So how does an addict begin the recovery process? Most of the time it is not from experiencing “serious trouble.” It is the desire to want something more than the addiction offers. The solution is simple, however, the process is complex, so much so it will be a future post.
In previous posts, I discussed witnessing a heroin injection gone wrong, and how I was almost arrested for possession of illegal drugs. Neither, or the combination of the two, deterred me from using mood-altering drugs. My decision to continue to be involved in the world of drugs and alcohol may have caused you, Dear Reader, to question my sanity or maturity. However, it is not a question of sanity or maturity. I felt quite sane as my unicorn - otherwise known as a stimulant addiction - magically removed my deep emotional pain. That removal is what I deeply desired. Consequently, I continued down that rabbit hole. Hopefully, now Dear Reader, you and I are now on the same page. So, now let us return to the high school tale of how I made the decision to recover in the early stages of stimulant addiction.