"Kismet" Finds Me (39th Post)

 My plane landed at Logan Airport in Boston. Soon I would be seeing my chosen college stomping grounds for the very first time. I was overflowing with delightful anticipation and curiosity. I was happy and relieved to be so far from the home I grew up in Arlington Virginia. The only homesickness I experienced was not about leaving home. The sadness and longing touching my heart were that I had to leave my beloved boyfriend back in Virginia. (More about him in a later Post) I also missed my dearest friends, who like me, were also currently arriving at their respective colleges. I missed my younger sister, however, not my older sister or parents. In order to miss someone, that person(s) needs to act and talk in ways that will make them missable. Neither my older sister nor my parents had done that.  My lovely boyfriend and dear friends certainly had.

My airplane had only been half full. Consequently, each passenger on the flight claimed their own row. The mostly quiet plane ride and the blue skies open realm of space was in direct contrast with the noisy and crowded Logan Airport. The airport was bustling with travelers coming, going, and waiting. Mixing in with the rowdy sea of travelers, I followed the sign labeled “To Baggage Claim” and “Transportation.” Once I arrived at the designated baggage carousel, I was relieved to see my bags making their way toward me. Wow - I really had to act fast to retrieve my luggage - who knew?! Once I secured my bags, I successfully hailed a taxi. Hearing the cab driver’s Boston accent was in itself a lovely welcome to the New England area. The driver skillfully weaved his cab through the busy, chaotic city streets. Feeling as if this was a dream. I gazed out the taxi’s windows at the landscape of my home away from home.

The taxi driver’s announcement that we had arrived at my destination broke through my reverie. The mystery of what the college campus actually looked like had been solved. I gazed upon the campus and liked everything I saw. I paid the driver, got out of the cab, put my luggage safely on the sidewalk, and just stared at the campus grounds. Feeling my feet on the ground, and being on campus, morphed my dream state into reality. I was now officially and unequivocally a college student and a member of a student body. I was mesmerized by the fact I was meeting MY future. 

The Quad was a massive field made up of trees, shrubs, and plenty of space to wander and, also just hang out. The Student Center, classrooms, and other mysterious buildings surrounded the area. A HA - I spied the name of my dorm. I took in the whole scene and the students. I was pleased with my new “nest.”  Plus, on the drive here I noticed all the necessary staples of life were nearby and within walking distance. I grabbed my luggage and bubbling with excitement briskly walked to my dorm. As I neared the front door, I decided my first mission was not to unpack. It was to secure my finances. I learned in childhood the importance of having money. Early on, I learned one cannot do much of anything in life without money. I was not alone in my search for my domicile. The lobby of the dorm was bustling with women with luggage. A dorm advisor located and directed all of us to our designated rooms. The dormitory was 4 stories high. My room was located on the 3rd floor. I thought that was fabulous as I loved heights and good views from the windows. I located my room, opened the door, and discovered my mystery roommate was not there. However, she had chosen her bed and side of the room. So far, I was pleased with everything I had encountered. I left her a “hello; I am here note,” and went off to find the dorm advisor. She informed me there was a local bank within walking distance of the campus. She pointed me in the right direction and off I went in search of the kindness of strangers to help with my navigation. (This was 1970, and there was no GPS). 

I always needed assistance finding my way. I did not know I had a TBI spatial disability. All I knew was I got easily lost and confused when heading to a destination. I also loathed hearing the words - “just go back the way you came.” That sentence did not resonate with me. I really had little idea how I got there in the first place. All that sentence did was make me cry. I did not know I had a broken brain that could not translate directions and had no sense of navigation. However, I successfully found my needed strangers and arrived at the bank. I set up my account and upon leaving felt secure and able to take care of myself and my life. Once the bank clerk pointed me in the right direction, I again found the kindness of strangers to assist me in my quest to return to my newfound home. Dear Reader, this may not seem like a major deal.  However, for someone like me with brain damage to the frontal lobe, ordinary tasks transform into major challenges, are stressful, and exhaust the damaged brain’s effort to cope with the task. For someone with TBI, completing an “ordinary task” feels like an extraordinary accomplishment.

When I walked into my dorm room I found my roommate had returned and “Kismet” was sitting beside her. Now dear reader, I need to digress so you and I will be on the same page concerning the meaning of Kismet. Kismet comes from the Arabic word “gisma,” This word entered the realm of the English language in the early 1800s. There are several definitions of Kismet. The cool thing about being an adult who is in their 20’s is one gets to take all the information society programs into the child and teenage mind, body, and spirit and choose to accept parts, reject parts, synthesize parts, add parts or put one’s own brand on all the bits of information. I believe people who do not take the time to examine the world they have been handed when a child or teen, are doomed to live the rest of their life in hand-me-downs that may or may not fit them. Or as Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Kismet has been defined as destiny, fate, or predestined. Here is my definition: I consider Kismet good fortune.  Here are some examples of what I mean. Good fortune can come as ideas, directions, assistance, a problem suddenly solved, or you hear a song with a message just for you, being at the right place at the right time, looking or seeking and the object of your desire appears in interesting ways. I don’t think Kismet means meant to be. Kismet is more magical than that. Sometimes, it is something or someone wonderful, who I had not been seeking, who finds me. I heard this in a Hallmark movie - “Christmas Getaway” - and thought it sounded like Kismet. “You just fulfilled a dream you never knew you had.” 

Back to my meet and greet with my roommate when I returned from the bank. It was late in the day, and the dorm was bustling with female students settling in. I opened the 

door to my room and found Karen unpacking. We introduced ourselves, sat on our respective beds, and talked. It turned out we were a little thrown and disappointed with each other. I was a freshman. Karen was a senior. I would have preferred another floundering freshman. And she yearned for a seasoned pro. However, Kismet intervened. We both decided to embrace the situation and ended up becoming very good friends. In retrospect, I certainly got the better end of the deal. Anyhow….Dear Reader, you must be thinking how is this Kismet?  I will delineate. I was on a mission to solve the puzzle of me and set up a student village(see previous posts). Due to the undiagnosed TBI, I had different concerns and needs than students with non-damaged brains. Consequently, as Karen and I created and enjoyed our friendship, I began to see rooming with a seasoned pro definitely had its advantages. She was a college village in herself. And bonus Kismet, in addition to her knowledge of the world of college, Karen gladdened my heart. She functioned like the older sister I wanted but never had (see previous posts). As the days passed at school, given my TBI challenges and symptoms, Having Karen as a roommate was golden kismet. 

“Kismet” found me on that college campus. I was so pleased to have met her.  And throughout the rest of my life, Kismet was indeed a precious part of my life. She is like some kind of Fairy Godmother or Guardian Angel or Archangel. Honestly, I do not completely understand how she weaves her magic, but I am glad I know of her existence. And I am grateful I had the courage to open the gifts she has given me. I  love getting to know the “Wonder” she creates for me. Kismet is not a daily thing. However, her timing is always amazing…….and often unexpected. Halfway through my first year at college, Kismet appeared with another unexpected surprise.